@Oh_Hi_Im_Colin
I don't get why girls get so upset when I suggest they get a boob job I mean it's just like getting braces.

@Oh_Hi_Im_Colin
Yeah I offered you some skittles but I was being polite you can't actually have any.

@DamienFahey
I'm excited for the Supreme Court to finally let us know if gay people are human beings.

@IamEnidColeslaw
hehe everyone thinks I'm reading something on my phone but really I'm trapped in the prison of my own mind

@juliussharpe
At what point does the dentist stop giving you toothbrushes? Dude, I'm forty. I have one.

@coolsexguy
There's something so sexy about a woman who has all the physical characteristics that I was conditioned by the media to find attractive.