plemur The worst thing about being the first person to live on the moon will be getting caught lying every time you claim to get laid.

Added Sep. 4  |  Direct link  |  More by plemur  |  RT This

JeniScagnetti I'm more of an amateur bater. I agree, I need more practice.

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k2bf I accidentally left the "Shake to Shuffle" feature of my iPod turned on during my run and listened to 2,379 songs in 4 miles.

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funnyoneliners "I drive like lightening." "You drive fast?" "No. I hit trees."

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ImKeithMoon If I ever get a llama, I'm totally naming it Dalai.

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donni I tried to be a workaholic but workahol tastes like shit.

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