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plemur
plemur The worst thing about being the first person to live on the moon will be getting caught lying every time you claim to get laid.
Added Sep. 4  |  Direct link  |  More by plemur  |  RT This
JeniScagnetti
JeniScagnetti I'm more of an amateur bater. I agree, I need more practice.
Added Sep. 4  |  Direct link  |  More by JeniScagnetti  |  RT This
k2bf
k2bf I accidentally left the "Shake to Shuffle" feature of my iPod turned on during my run and listened to 2,379 songs in 4 miles.
Added Sep. 4  |  Direct link  |  More by k2bf  |  RT This
funnyoneliners
funnyoneliners "I drive like lightening." "You drive fast?" "No. I hit trees."
Added Sep. 4  |  Direct link  |  More by funnyoneliners  |  RT This
ImKeithMoon
ImKeithMoon If I ever get a llama, I'm totally naming it Dalai.
Added Sep. 4  |  Direct link  |  More by ImKeithMoon  |  RT This
donni
donni I tried to be a workaholic but workahol tastes like shit.
Added Sep. 4  |  Direct link  |  More by donni  |  RT This

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