Sep 12 2019 Reply Favorite Retweet
Every girl who peaked in high school fucking loves posting a picture on Instagram of their khaki wearing boyfriend (who also looks like their dad) holding a baby (likely a niece/nephew) with the caption “my heart is so full”.
Sep 7 2019 Reply Favorite Retweet
If you’re gonna sit next to me on a 7am flight and very calmly & casually drink 3 gin & tonics please just have the courtesy to say to me “I’m very scared of flying” or “Life has no meaning”
Sep 7 2019 Reply Favorite Retweet
same day delivery is the most American shit of all time, you run out of deodorant or something and with a single click start a Rube Goldberg of human suffering in an Amazon warehouse twenty miles away