@PimpBillClinton
I bet every NBA player's phone is set to go straight to voicemail today.
I bet every NBA player's phone is set to go straight to voicemail today.
Father's Day 2012 - Father's Day is a celebration honoring fathers and celebrating fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the influence of fathers in society.
@donni
Father's Day was invented by the father industry as an excuse to sell more fathers.
Father's Day was invented by the father industry as an excuse to sell more fathers.
@hipstermermaid
Where are the "Sorry I can't throw a football" Father's Day cards?
Where are the "Sorry I can't throw a football" Father's Day cards?
@funnyordie
Happy Condom Appreciation Day!
Happy Condom Appreciation Day!
@gracehelbig
Happy Father's Day, Dad. The only Barbie you ever bought me was "Native American Barbie" and that made me the person I am today.
Happy Father's Day, Dad. The only Barbie you ever bought me was "Native American Barbie" and that made me the person I am today.
@morgan_murphy
When I was a kid, I had one of those nets you throw a baseball against and it bounces it back to you. Happy Fathers Day to that net.
When I was a kid, I had one of those nets you throw a baseball against and it bounces it back to you. Happy Fathers Day to that net.
@ryaninco
Fathers Day must be really hard for Luke Skywalker.
Fathers Day must be really hard for Luke Skywalker.
@AristotlesNZ
Women get all the credit for childbirth. But how about us men? We're in there too. All the crying & screaming goin on. It's pretty annoying.
Women get all the credit for childbirth. But how about us men? We're in there too. All the crying & screaming goin on. It's pretty annoying.
@BorowitzReport
Just once on Father's Day I wish my kids would give me a #1 Dad mug instead of one with my actual ranking.
Just once on Father's Day I wish my kids would give me a #1 Dad mug instead of one with my actual ranking.
@JennyJohnsonHi5
Father's Day is a special day in a NBA player's life when he reflects on his 9 kids while getting a beej from an 18-year old named Sin-A-Bun
Father's Day is a special day in a NBA player's life when he reflects on his 9 kids while getting a beej from an 18-year old named Sin-A-Bun
@badbanana
Last minute Father's Day gift ideas: tie made out of tin foil, iPad cover made out of tin foil, ball of tin foil.
Last minute Father's Day gift ideas: tie made out of tin foil, iPad cover made out of tin foil, ball of tin foil.
@JimGaffigan
Just woke my kids up and told them, “It’s Father’s Day! Where’s my present?” They just started crying. Brats.
Just woke my kids up and told them, “It’s Father’s Day! Where’s my present?” They just started crying. Brats.