wingzfly
North Korea is retiring all size 3 women's shoes and size 87 sunglasses in honor of Kim Jong Il's death.

morgan_murphy
I will consider my life a success if, when I die, nobody finds out via a series of puns.

johnmoe
"I just heard the big news on our complete lack of an internet!" - someone in North Korea

JordyHamrick
They should put Jackie Chan in the coffin just to see if anyone's paying attention.

jas508
Man, I keep writing "Kim Jong Il is still alive" on all my checks. :(

EliBraden
I'll immediately forget where I was when I found out Kim Jong-Il died

ChaseMit
Kim Jong-Il is dead. North Koreans are completely devastated in case he's still watching somewhere.

TheMikeLawrence
Ghadafi, Osama, Kim Jong Il all dead in the same year. Hell's going to have a better 3 Stooges movie than we are.

StevenAmiri
RIP Kim Jong-il. I loved you on Community and those Hangover movies.

jas508
Kim Jong-Il was alive?

anjeanettec
North Korea: Kim Jong-Il died of "physical and mental over-work." In his defense, oppressing an entire nation must be exhausting.

nachosarah
hey one less bad driver

EliBraden
I feel bad for Kourtney Jong-Il and Khloe Jong-Il right now :(

JimGaffigan
I didn't even know Kim Jung was Il.