JimGaffigan
That was the most one-sided debate I’ve ever seen. #SOTU
That was the most one-sided debate I’ve ever seen. #SOTU
State of the Union - The State of the Union is an annual address presented by the President of the United States to the United States Congress. President Obama's speech on January 24, 2012 is particularly important because it is during an election year.
VerifiedDrunk
If Michelle doesn't fuck Barack's brains out tonight he should seriously call Monica Lewinsky.
If Michelle doesn't fuck Barack's brains out tonight he should seriously call Monica Lewinsky.
sucittaM
I hope the Republican Response is George W. Bush saying "Oh yeah, well next year we'll kill TWO Bin Ladens. Heh heh." #SOTU
I hope the Republican Response is George W. Bush saying "Oh yeah, well next year we'll kill TWO Bin Ladens. Heh heh." #SOTU
Bez
"I am SO getting laid tonight" -Obama's speechwriter
"I am SO getting laid tonight" -Obama's speechwriter
sixfoot6
Biden always looks like he's pridefully watching his son play quarterback. Boehner always looks embarrassed by his son at a ballet recital.
Biden always looks like he's pridefully watching his son play quarterback. Boehner always looks embarrassed by his son at a ballet recital.
JillMorris
I feel like I'm watching an ad for ADD medication when I look at Biden. #SOTU
I feel like I'm watching an ad for ADD medication when I look at Biden. #SOTU
JonasPolsky
Saturday Night Live cold openings are pretty long, but this is ridiculous. #SOTU
Saturday Night Live cold openings are pretty long, but this is ridiculous. #SOTU
m_swartz
Also as serious as this all is just imagine a bunch of orangutans hooting and clapping at each other and that's basically government.
Also as serious as this all is just imagine a bunch of orangutans hooting and clapping at each other and that's basically government.
TheDweck
Obama gives SOTU. Republicans respond STFU.
Obama gives SOTU. Republicans respond STFU.
biloon
Somebody just said "Oh, Yeah" in the audience. Is the Kool-Aid Man in attendance? #SOTU
Somebody just said "Oh, Yeah" in the audience. Is the Kool-Aid Man in attendance? #SOTU
SarahThyre
I bet if you grated Boehner's cheekbones onto French toast it would be delicious. #SOTU #protein
I bet if you grated Boehner's cheekbones onto French toast it would be delicious. #SOTU #protein
ezraklein
Most of these lines could be delivered by a Republican. And Republicans would clap for them. And in an election year, Democrats wouldn't.
Most of these lines could be delivered by a Republican. And Republicans would clap for them. And in an election year, Democrats wouldn't.
ToeKneeSam
Obama looks orange on my television, Boehner looks red, and Biden looks confused. #sotu
Obama looks orange on my television, Boehner looks red, and Biden looks confused. #sotu
JonasPolsky
John Boehner has been warned, whenever he gets the impulse to applaud or smile, one of his children is stabbed with a rusty syringe. #SOTU
John Boehner has been warned, whenever he gets the impulse to applaud or smile, one of his children is stabbed with a rusty syringe. #SOTU
Dave_Horwitz
The State Of The Union should be retitled, "Hey, You Know What Would Be Cool?"
The State Of The Union should be retitled, "Hey, You Know What Would Be Cool?"
sucittaM
If Biden's mic was on you would have heard him drop seventeen F-bombs so far. #SOTU
If Biden's mic was on you would have heard him drop seventeen F-bombs so far. #SOTU
dansinker
Boehner's gone from deep orange to a rich corinthian leather in a year.
Boehner's gone from deep orange to a rich corinthian leather in a year.
gabedelahaye
John Boehner and Joe Biden clearly go to separate tanning salons with competing formulas. #SOTU
John Boehner and Joe Biden clearly go to separate tanning salons with competing formulas. #SOTU
BorowitzReport
Fox News: Obama Speech an Enormous Failure #SOTU
Fox News: Obama Speech an Enormous Failure #SOTU
the_moonface
Obama: Okay America, Newt's a slut, Paul's a racist, Romney's a robot and Santorum is the mess on my bed sheets, I'm clearly the best option
Obama: Okay America, Newt's a slut, Paul's a racist, Romney's a robot and Santorum is the mess on my bed sheets, I'm clearly the best option
sucittaM
State of the Union prediction: Obama walks up, clears throat, says "Shit cray", drops the mic and walks off.
State of the Union prediction: Obama walks up, clears throat, says "Shit cray", drops the mic and walks off.