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Beerhaze
I find it odd that my son's teacher would like to see him skip grade one without knowing how horribly he screwed up when doing our taxes.
Beerhaze
Money went much further in the 1980s when you could peel the price stickers off milk cartons and stick them on anything you needed.
Beerhaze
Jesus dies for our sins? No, no, no... He died for YOUR sins. I haven't touched a goat inappropriately since third grade.
Beerhaze
The closest I have ever come to being involved in a threesome was when having sex with a ventriloquist. I was stoned and VERY confused.
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Beerhaze
Madonna is now in that part of her career where she can only surprise people at the Super Bowl by giving birth to an antelope on stage.
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Beerhaze
iPhone 5’s voice-to-text feature auto-corrects "Horny enough to bang your mom!" to "Sorry to hear about your mom!" USELESS for Twitter.
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