@CoatCzech
Gina from Facebook is fed up with Obama, you guys. She says, "Good riddens" and I think she means it!
Gina from Facebook is fed up with Obama, you guys. She says, "Good riddens" and I think she means it!
Tweets by @CoatCzech added on Fun Tweets.
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@CoatCzech
The older I get, the more I watch Ferris Bueller and root for him to get caught.
The older I get, the more I watch Ferris Bueller and root for him to get caught.
@CoatCzech
"Ramen". - Scooby Doo, finishing a prayer
"Ramen". - Scooby Doo, finishing a prayer
@CoatCzech
"Good to sea you" is a hilarious thing to say when shoving someone off a cruise ship.
"Good to sea you" is a hilarious thing to say when shoving someone off a cruise ship.
@CoatCzech
My religious, conservative upbringing taught me that poor people are lazy and the rich are giving. Real life taught me the opposite.
My religious, conservative upbringing taught me that poor people are lazy and the rich are giving. Real life taught me the opposite.
@CoatCzech
My grandpa is just like a plant. If you don’t feed him, he’ll die. Plus, he’s super quiet when he’s in the room watching you have sex.
My grandpa is just like a plant. If you don’t feed him, he’ll die. Plus, he’s super quiet when he’s in the room watching you have sex.
@CoatCzech
I like to knock on random doors and say, “Hi, my name is Current Resident and I understand you're the bastard that's been opening my mail.”
I like to knock on random doors and say, “Hi, my name is Current Resident and I understand you're the bastard that's been opening my mail.”
@CoatCzech
Bitches be misusing helping verbs.
Bitches be misusing helping verbs.
@CoatCzech
“Use divorce, Luke.” ”“ Obi Wan, marriage counselor
“Use divorce, Luke.” ”“ Obi Wan, marriage counselor
@CoatCzech
Having trouble keeping track of which celebrities are alive and which ones are dead? Here, use my Heath ledger.
Having trouble keeping track of which celebrities are alive and which ones are dead? Here, use my Heath ledger.
@CoatCzech
Grandma is doing her best to stay cool. She signed up for some hip surgery.
Grandma is doing her best to stay cool. She signed up for some hip surgery.
@CoatCzech
The AutoZone guy said my battery was out of juice but he didn't say which kind so I'm going with kiwi strawberry.
The AutoZone guy said my battery was out of juice but he didn't say which kind so I'm going with kiwi strawberry.
@CoatCzech
"Sorry I haven’t been tweeting much lately." – guy who actually thinks people notice when he’s not tweeting
"Sorry I haven’t been tweeting much lately." – guy who actually thinks people notice when he’s not tweeting
@CoatCzech
My wife gets her news from NPR. I get mine from Twitter. Guess which one of us knew about planking first? Suck it, legitimate media.
My wife gets her news from NPR. I get mine from Twitter. Guess which one of us knew about planking first? Suck it, legitimate media.
@CoatCzech
I'm no scientist but wouldn't fat bottomed girls, if anything, slow the rocking world down?
I'm no scientist but wouldn't fat bottomed girls, if anything, slow the rocking world down?
@CoatCzech
To celebrate the 4th, I'm gonna borrow money from my Chinese friends and beat up some Middle Easterners for reasons I don't understand.
To celebrate the 4th, I'm gonna borrow money from my Chinese friends and beat up some Middle Easterners for reasons I don't understand.
@CoatCzech
Why can’t I think of a word that means something really good or really bad depending on how you use it in a sentence? Fuck!
Why can’t I think of a word that means something really good or really bad depending on how you use it in a sentence? Fuck!
@CoatCzech
No, no, no. I said I was a 'peephole' person.
No, no, no. I said I was a 'peephole' person.
@CoatCzech
Rubbing my ass on these documents because the boss's email says to "cheek his paperwork".
Rubbing my ass on these documents because the boss's email says to "cheek his paperwork".
@CoatCzech
The twist in M. Night Shyamalan's next film is that it turns out to be a good movie.
The twist in M. Night Shyamalan's next film is that it turns out to be a good movie.