Tweets by @Coy0teUgly added on Fun Tweets.

Jul 25 2011 Retweet
If I park 20 spots from the store in an empty parking lot and you park next to me, I'm slamming my door into your car 34 times.
Jul 22 2011 Retweet
I like my bagels like I like my women; lightly toasted with sesame seeds and a little butter. I don't understand this joke format.
Apr 29 2011 Retweet
When I bring a girl back to my bedroom, I tell her "this is where the magic happens", then I pull a rabbit out of a hat.