@Elizasoul80
I've replaced the G in Good Friday with an F and this is my religion now.

@Elizasoul80
My son just asked me what it's like to be an adult. I told him "I don't know." He seems slightly frightened, so now he knows.

@Elizasoul80
"Pardon me as I slip into something more comfortable." [I just get in bed and go to sleep]

@Elizasoul80
Do people who criticize the presidents daughter for smoking pot forget that the last Republican vice president shot his friend in the face.