Tweets by @GreenishDuck added on Fun Tweets.
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Apr 12 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
"Um guys wait seriously you guys I feel like we should be going the other way they're shooting at us? Um guys?!" --horses going into battle

Feb 26 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
Dig a hole all the way to China, poke your head out and yell "YOU GUYS BUILT THIS SHOVEL IT'S A GREAT SHOVEL JUST WANTED TO SAY HEY!"

Feb 1 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
Movie Idea: Michael Cera falls down a spiral staircase then pets a cat.

Feb 1 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
Sorry I always spell your name Brain, guys named Brain.

Jan 27 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
Don't lie you would touch all sorts of weird shit with a ten-foot pole.

Jan 24 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
This is just a quick shout-out to bread bowls, waffle cones and other edible containers. You guys are doing a great job.

Jan 5 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
Oh I thought you said VANILLA folder. Haha classic mix up. Seriously though take your folder it's melting.

Dec 17 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
I like when websites ask "HOW DID YOU HEAR ABOUT US?" Haha paranoid much?

Nov 26 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
I used an emoticon with a nose once. It was stupid and embarrassing. I wouldn't recommend it.

Nov 14 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
You can lead a horse to water and if he walks on it congratulations you found horse jesus.

Nov 9 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
Sometimes in the shower I pretend like I'm a bumblebee and just crash into the curtain a few times and die in the water.

Oct 26 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
One year a kid came to my door and said "Trick or treat?" I said "Um, trick." Then the kid had a seizure on my porch. Haha kids are idiots.

Part of a collection

Oct 11 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
Wolves are just wild dogs who can't get enough of the woods I guess.

Sep 18 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't fucking know. Chickens don't even know what roads are he probably thought it was a field.

Aug 25 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
Walk into a bar dressed as a bunny rabbit. Punch the first person who says something to you. You're a wild animal.

Aug 17 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
Text your dad "egg salad sandwich" four times in one day. He'll probably think his phone is broken.

Jul 30 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
A couple of million dollar ideas: 1) Boxers with pockets 2) A service that lets you throw a live shark from a speeding van

Jul 23 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
Frogs always look like they just found out there's no free Wi-Fi.

Jul 11 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
Spent most of my early twenties trying to open a pistachio.

Jul 8 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
What do wolves even want from the moon?

Jun 22 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
A robot nervously gets into a hammock. Stiff as a board and holding on for dear life, he looks to his friend and screams "TAKE THE PICTURE!"

Apr 25 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
Funny prank: Put a cinder block in someone's pillowcase and right when they say "What the fuck?!" let like six wolves into their room.

Jan 16 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
Gonna get a tattoo of two big trucks crashing into each other and then maybe there's like a scorpion on the side of the road doing push-ups.

Sep 26 2011 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
"What? Where?" -owl on some next level shit

Jul 23 2011 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
A bee was buzzing around my head and I was all "It's not worth it, bro" and he was all "Fuck you, let's dance." Stung me and he's dead.

Feb 22 2011 Reply Favorite Retweet

@GreenishDuck
Most action figures are surprisingly inactive.