@Hormonella
What moron called them Marriage Vows and not Terms of Service?

@Hormonella
Accidentally heard that Mariah Carey Christmas song on the radio and am now using an electric beater as a Q-Tip.

@Hormonella
These microwaved pot stickers taste like fixed income.

@Hormonella
Multiple bathrooms are the glue that hold marriages together.

@Hormonella
If your bathroom mirror doesn't look like a Jackson Pollock painting, you're not flossing right.

@Hormonella
It's not a nap if you never got out of bed.