@IamEnidColeslaw
I've never seen a dead body but I did once watch a girl get proposed to in an Applebee's

@IamEnidColeslaw
a haunted house but it's just people paying bills and waiting in line at the DMV

@IamEnidColeslaw
I have two tear drop tattoos (one for each time I waved at a person who was waving to someone behind me)

@IamEnidColeslaw
Don't tell my girlfriend but I'm the one who's been eating the soap

@IamEnidColeslaw
my ideal date: shoplifting sushi from Walgreens then holding hands for 3 hours

@IamEnidColeslaw
how come there aren't more babies named Pizza