@JoyPlaza
i'm really good at practicing how to pronounce something on a fancy menu for 10 minutes, then cracking under pressure and saying "that one."

@JoyPlaza
if someone wakes up from a twenty year coma, i hope the first thing they see when they turn on a TV is mike tyson petting his pigeons.

@JoyPlaza
in the darkest corner of my room, dick cheney sits brooding, waiting til i fall asleep. or it's a lampshade. kinda dark and i'm nearsighted.

@JoyPlaza
still waiting to see a used car commercial that looks like they cared enough to do more than one take.

@JoyPlaza
the waiter snuck up on me when i was eating my steak and now i'm all embarrassed 'cause i'm not sure how much to tip someone i just stabbed.