Mar 10 Reply Favorite Retweet @MauriceBlitz "Ways you would tell your mother you secretly have the hots for her." -Family Freud
Mar 3 Reply Favorite Retweet @MauriceBlitz A vegan took my picture. It was hard to smile saying, "Gluten-free, dairy-free, imitation monteray jack soy cheese."
Feb 26 Reply Favorite Retweet @MauriceBlitz The Artist should win an Oscar for Special Effects. It's a silent movie with women in it. How did they manage that? Part of a collection
Jan 26 Reply Favorite Retweet @MauriceBlitz I bet girls on facebook with the duck faces look for men that make a lot of bread.
Nov 10 2011 Reply Favorite Retweet @MauriceBlitz I bet George Washington's favorite drinking game had to have been Quarters.