@Ristolable
When I like a girl, I play it cool. I wait. I text once, wait 60 years, and then I die.

@Ristolable
My review of your face: Good, quality face. Would look again

@Ristolable
Sorry a lot of sand came out of my sleeve when I shook your hand; I went to the beach six years ago.

@Ristolable
I love, love, love when sports fans are homophobic. "I don't want any gay people around while I'm staring at men for hours"

@Ristolable
"Nice to meet you," she said, meeting me for the third time

@Ristolable
Can I homeless person a cigarette off someone