@Slashleen
I'm so poor I'm taking a vacation on Google Street View this year.

@Slashleen
People who say "no regrets" just have too many regrets to keep track of.

@Slashleen
I hate it when gross couples tell you they're trying for a baby and you have to picture them fucking for a second.

@Slashleen
Just farted and it sounded like Louis Armstrong saying the word "blueberry" with his mouth full.

@Slashleen
I'm so pale all of my relationships are interracial.

@Slashleen
Sometimes I miss my grandfather, but I know he's up in heaven groping angel titties and saying some next level racist shit.