@TequilaTears
I'm following around cop cars all day to let them know how it feels.
I'm following around cop cars all day to let them know how it feels.
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@TequilaTears
Walked into the gym and did 1 push up in front of everyone, then ripped off my shirt and walked out grunting 'You did it. You did it.'
Walked into the gym and did 1 push up in front of everyone, then ripped off my shirt and walked out grunting 'You did it. You did it.'
@TequilaTears
I'm so lazy, If autocorrect doesn't know the word after 3 letters I don't even bother sending the text.
I'm so lazy, If autocorrect doesn't know the word after 3 letters I don't even bother sending the text.
@TequilaTears
I call my car 'The Forest Whitaker' because the left light barely works.
I call my car 'The Forest Whitaker' because the left light barely works.
@TequilaTears
I'm so lazy I bought a black Snuggie for funerals.
I'm so lazy I bought a black Snuggie for funerals.
@TequilaTears
John Travolta looks like the type of guy that would leave his toupee in a truck stop urinal for hours and then wear it to a musical.
John Travolta looks like the type of guy that would leave his toupee in a truck stop urinal for hours and then wear it to a musical.