@TheHyyyype
there is no situation more panic-inducing than when excel asks if you want to save your changes but you don't remember making any

@TheHyyyype
i forgot the word "dosage" so i asked my doctor what my medication's "serving size" was

@TheHyyyype
[i get home to find a note on the refrigerator that says "i'm leaving and i'm taking the kids"] ME: *unplugs fridge from power outlet* you're not going anywhere you piece of shit

@TheHyyyype
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. A banana will scare off most lawyers. Eat a pomegranate and every architect within a three-mile radius will shit himself.