@TrainedHedonist
Some filthy fat lady just farted the sound of a rusty door hinge in this DMV. Except I'm the fat lady and the DMV is a Romney campaign booth

@TrainedHedonist
TV sitcom idea: Wacky copy editor who yells "nailed it!" even when he didn't, also he's alone as mankind was obliterated by a viral pandemic

@TrainedHedonist
Way less people would sneeze in public if we replaced "bless you" with "nice filthcloud."

@TrainedHedonist
If it wasn't for Yahoo Answers, there's no way I could know this numb black foot was just a headache.

@TrainedHedonist
We're out of duct tape, craft glue, and frozen orange juice because I made a sandwich while I was drunk last night.

@TrainedHedonist
As a grown adult man, good luck trying to scare me with anything besides a gun, or common household insects.