@UNTRESOR
As a Brandon, I'm constantly at war with Brendans. Do not confuse them with my kind. They are shit demons. Slaying them is my birthright.

@UNTRESOR
If you have any snacks left when the movie starts you're a wizard & need to be killed.

@UNTRESOR
Warner Bros. before Warner Hos.

@UNTRESOR
The average time it takes for an elderly woman to get her ringing cellphone out of her purse is 11 days.

@UNTRESOR
Whoa. I just did something & almost forgot to document it on the Internet. That was a close one.

@UNTRESOR
From The Vatican: Pope Benedict XVI announced that he plans to resign. When asked why, His Holiness said, "I gotta do me" & began twerking.