@Zaius13
The enemy of my enemy is my friend, unless it's one of those half-wits who always says "ironic" when they mean coincidental.

@Zaius13
Your restraining order says "no", but the 1/8" gap between your living room curtains says "yes".

@Zaius13
If you insist on telling me about your weekend, I suggest you do it in the bathroom, as it's the only place I'll give a shit.

@Zaius13
I made a new drink out of isopropyl, lead paint, and cat urine. I call it a "You Tube Comment".

@Zaius13
Evidently that good samaritan bullshit doesn't apply when you help an old lady cross the street on the hood of your car.

@Zaius13
I'm unclear on that of which you speak. Please elaborate, Willis.