@adamisacson
Today I forgot to comb my hair, but people thought I was nice. Then, nothing of consequence happened. So today was every Michael Cera movie.

@adamisacson
Almost yelled "F.U." at another driver, but the kid was in the car. So I yelled, "I'm dedicated to customer service." Just like airlines do.

@adamisacson
Today, Apple is announcing to the world that millions of baby boomers still don't know how to rip mp3 files from their record collections.

@adamisacson
Check-writing-grocery-line lady. No-turn-signal-SUV guy. Recline-seat-into-your-lap man. They're all voting tomorrow. Let's cancel them out.

@adamisacson
We have much to learn about the fabric of space-time. But we know you can't make a decent sweater out of it. Too scratchy.

@adamisacson
They can only rescue about one miner per hour, while all the others wait? Who put the DMV in charge of this?