Tweets by @awryone added on Fun Tweets.


Oct 5 2010 Retweet
@awryone
Sorta miss my kid today. Guess it's true what they say about not knowing what you've got until you've sold it to a gypsy.
Sep 16 2010 Retweet
@awryone
A hippie just used "dude" in so many different contexts while talking to me I had to translate using my Brosetta Stone.
Apr 8 2010 Retweet
@awryone
To test my kid's readiness for a pet I had her clean up poop in the yard all week and now I can't go back to using the toilet.
Feb 22 2010 Retweet
@awryone
Listen, kid. When you've spent 4 days eating cat food in a Vietnamese spin-fuck chair for phonics, we'll talk about hooked.
Feb 20 2010 Retweet
@awryone
They say that all things come in threes and yeah maybe I did too once because I was really drunk and she looked like a five.
Feb 17 2010 Retweet
@awryone
I like the lack of controversy over the Olympic men's figure skating "No Need to Ask, We'll Tell!" policy.