@bazecraze
Tan or get your teeth whitened. But only one of those.

@bazecraze
The name is Bond. James Bond. James Melvin "Crazy Legs" Bond.

@bazecraze
The fact that you can feel sad, then listen to a song and feel better proves that feelings are stupid.

@bazecraze
The Statue of Liberty's torch sure is good at surviving apocalypses.

@bazecraze
If vampires can't see themselves in mirrors, how do they trim those perfect goatees?

@bazecraze
Hey Jesus, way to rise again on a day we already have off.