@birbigs
I heard David Petraeus had some honorable discharge.

@birbigs
Governor Christie, we need you to eat the hurricane.

@birbigs
Tonight two candidates merged to form BARACK O'ROMNEY.

@birbigs
On this great new diet called "sleep through breakfast."

@birbigs
I think maybe the key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.

@birbigs
Mr. Rogers misled kids by making them believe that running into people you know is good.