@blondediva11
By all sensible rules of anatomy, if you have shit for brains, you shouldn't be alive. Science, people.

@blondediva11
My mom keeps telling me there are plenty of fish in the sea. She REALLY doesn't get me anymore. I. Don't. Want. A. Fish.

@blondediva11
Where's Ryan Seacrest? Doesn't he host everything? #RoyalWedding

@blondediva11
Poor Richard Simmons. He got tangled in his work-out mat, and now he's a fruit roll-up.

@blondediva11
I've been putting vodka in my fruit smoothies. Also no fruit.

@blondediva11
The cat's in the cradle....OMG. It ate the baby.