@briangaar
Just saw a kid with a protest sign that said "I AM VERY GOOD AT KARATE" and I'll regret for the rest of my life that I didn't get a picture

@briangaar
How dare you accept my apology, I wasn't really apologizing, that was a trick to get you to say that nothing was my fault

@briangaar
[sits family down at dinner table] I've decided we're going to start watching anime

@briangaar
Netflix is all, "Do you want to watch a bunch of crappy documentaries? No?? Well how about if we charged you $9 a month to watch them??"

@briangaar
"WE AREN'T SO DIFFERENT, YOU AND I." -- bad guys reaching for a weapon at the end of the movie

@briangaar
Walk into the club like what up does anyone own a black Honda Element because your lights are on