@ceejoyner
If you see me tied to a horse please know I don't own one so whoever robbed me has gone out of their way to make me look like a fool.

@ceejoyner
If you need a fake British pub name for an elaborate lie the formula is Animal+Gardening tool= we had a proper laugh at the Frog&Shovel mate

@ceejoyner
New gym is great. Free robe service. They shaved the top of my head? Gardening, masonry. Chanting. Swore an oath and live at the gym now.

@ceejoyner
Worst case scenario for the 'coin behind the ear' trick is finding a tumour there and being accused of dark magic.

@ceejoyner
When police tell you to put your hands up and stop running you can still legally flee with a rapid series of cartwheels.

@ceejoyner
Would I care for a free sample? Raise your own samples lady, should have thought about that before you made them.