Sep 4 2010 Favorite Retweet funnyoneliners "I drive like lightening." "You drive fast?" "No. I hit trees."
Jan 21 2010 Retweet funnyoneliners Now my friends all hate me because I've been keeping my enemies closer.
Dec 29 2009 Retweet funnyoneliners The neighbors love it when I practice piano. They break my window to hear me better.
Dec 27 2009 Retweet funnyoneliners I was at a gay nineties party last night. All the men were gay and all the women were ninety.
Dec 20 2009 Retweet funnyoneliners I've just got my son a flat piece of cardboard for Christmas. Although what he wants with an ex box I'll never know.