@funnyordie
Happy Columbus Day! Celebrate by going to the wrong house after work then claiming it as your own.

@funnyordie
The new iPhone 5 is going to revolutionize the way you ignore friends when you hang out.

@funnyordie
Obama needs to walk out holding Bin Laden's skull with "Born in the USA" blasting or this was all a big waste of time. #DNC

@funnyordie
Barack Obama just fixed the economy by breaking Reddit & making us all get back to work.

@funnyordie
Cell phones make it easy to communicate with everybody except the people you're currently with.

@funnyordie
There's no way smoking meth is as addictive or stressful as watching Breaking Bad.