Sep 30 2015 Reply Favorite Retweet @iGreenMonk If you like internet jokes, you should see my online bank account.
Dec 11 2014 Reply Favorite Retweet @iGreenMonk I'm always a little disappointed when I walk away from my car and it doesn't explode after I press the lock button.
Dec 2 2014 Reply Favorite Retweet @iGreenMonk Asking politicians to give up source of money is like asking Dracula to forsake blood.
Aug 15 2014 Reply Favorite Retweet @iGreenMonk Wherever you go, hold your head high like you actually did something with your life at some point. It fools most people.
Feb 7 2014 Reply Favorite Retweet @iGreenMonk My wife was so sick this morning that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast.