@juliussharpe
It's hard to fall asleep because I don't trust myself to not die.
It's hard to fall asleep because I don't trust myself to not die.
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@juliussharpe
I hope I'm never involved in a long trial, mostly because I only own one suit.
I hope I'm never involved in a long trial, mostly because I only own one suit.
@juliussharpe
Somehow women make a new friend every week while guys just know the same six people their entire lives.
Somehow women make a new friend every week while guys just know the same six people their entire lives.
@juliussharpe
Just got a temporary tattoo. Now I can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery for the next three days.
Just got a temporary tattoo. Now I can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery for the next three days.
@juliussharpe
Fun tip - instead of going on vacation with a baby, stand outside until you're sunburned, then light $1,000 on fire.
Fun tip - instead of going on vacation with a baby, stand outside until you're sunburned, then light $1,000 on fire.
@juliussharpe
Is there as much intelligence disparity in other animals as humans? Does any cow make other cows go, "That's the dumbest cow I've ever met"?
Is there as much intelligence disparity in other animals as humans? Does any cow make other cows go, "That's the dumbest cow I've ever met"?