@michaeljhudson
if you ask a veteran if they've killed anyone and they say they don't like to talk about it, that means no

@michaeljhudson
the guy who named eggplants, pineapples, and Guinea pigs is all the same guy

@michaeljhudson
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia where I deny the existence of certain 80s bands. there is no cure.

@michaeljhudson
I make the McDonald's guy eat a McDouble with me like when people buy shots for the bartender

@michaeljhudson
Welcome to Business Job. Squeeze my hand and I'll squeeze yours. There, now we're acquaintances. Here's your 3 walls and chair.

@michaeljhudson
The kid who would burn his marshmallow to a blackened crisp and say "this is how I like it!" is in prison now