Tweets by @nachosarah added on Fun Tweets.
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Sep 26 2017 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
nothing has proven more that the news thrives on instilling fear & anxiety in us than the constant stories about the kardashians reproducing

Jan 13 2017 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
start out every morning with positive thoughts then put them in a pile and light them on fire to speed shit up

Dec 20 2016 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
I'd like to think that when pedophiles hang out one of them always asks to see the kids menu and they all have a good hearty laugh

Nov 28 2016 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
when it snows are snowmen ever like holy shit it's my flesh

Feb 29 2016 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
there's a guy with a pt cruiser at the car wash bet it's hard to keep clean when girls are just constantly smashing their pussies against it

Jul 29 2015 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
I bet black people whoooa this tweet is not starting off well

Apr 10 2015 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
hey dudes who go through my Instagram and only like my hot pictures I can't wait to establish a long committed relationship with you

Jan 16 2015 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
hey remember back in the day when a coke only cost a nickel and everyone was just horribly ridiculously racist

Oct 19 2014 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
instead of taking anti-depressants I just think about how many different kinds of sandwiches there are

Apr 4 2014 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
it's cool that you're a nerd but it would be cooler if you were more quiet about it

Dec 11 2013 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
I'd like to think that when pedophiles hang out one of them always asks to see the kids menu and they all have a good hearty laugh

Sep 7 2013 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
if you have penciled-on eyebrows I can't hear a word you're saying because I'm staring at them

Aug 15 2013 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
that kid at the public pool who kept screaming at his mom to watch him jump in grew up to be a blogger

Jul 2 2013 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
why are people scared of getting old you get motorized wheelchairs and giant barrels of drugs

Apr 9 2013 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
how do I tell my boss I don't want to do work anymore but still want money

Mar 31 2013 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
I'm so sick of being white it's like playing a video game on easy

Mar 25 2013 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
a spider dropped onto me this morning and I was just really excited that someone else was in bed with me

Jan 12 2013 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
maybe your boyfriend broke up with you cuz you called him baby instead of something cool like king wiener

Jan 10 2013 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
hey girls if you sleep with a guy then tell them you're pregnant they'll give you a bunch of money for an abortion I have like 50 cars

Jan 5 2013 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
I bet black people whoooa this tweet is not starting off well

Jan 3 2013 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
why do we only eat some of the animals I'm looking at you manatees keep being fat your day will come

Dec 31 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
someone should create huge peanuts so elephants don't have to take so long to eat and therefore have more time to reflect on being awesome

Nov 14 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
when zombies can't sleep it's called inzombnia holy shit that was a huge slice of comedy pie I bet you're all full now I sure am

Nov 6 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
instead of having anxiety over Florida I've chosen to giggle every time someone on CNN touches its tip to enlarge it

Part of a collection

Oct 25 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
did you know if you throw a baby at a random group of people someone will always catch it so far

Oct 20 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
I like the phrase bury the hatchet because it implies someone was trying to resolve an argument with a fucking hatchet

Sep 8 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
I'm like the packaging on a CD really hard to get off but it doesn't matter because no one wants you anymore

Aug 8 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
that kid at the public pool who kept screaming at his mom to watch him jump in grew up to be a blogger

Mar 17 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
women sure love never chilling the fuck out

Feb 20 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
why do people live in regular houses when there are steakhouses

Feb 19 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
why do you always have nicer earrings than me mexican babies

Dec 18 2011 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
hey one less bad driver

Part of a collection

Dec 6 2011 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
hey girls if you sleep with a guy then tell them you're pregnant they'll give you a bunch of money for an abortion I have like 50 cars

Nov 26 2011 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
I'm so sick of being white it's like playing a video game on easy

Aug 24 2011 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
Asians are bad drivers cuz they're used to riding pandas while eating rice is that racist enough for you dad I'm sorry I wasn't in the war

Aug 20 2011 Reply Favorite Retweet

@nachosarah
I saw a chameleon today so I guess it was a pretty shitty chameleon