Tweets by @noog added on Fun Tweets.


Nov 8 Reply Favorite Retweet
@noog
Women order the fuck out of coffee. "Give me a chocolate mocha latte with 3 sugars, 2 Splendas, 4 elf pubes and 2 grams of pixie dust."
Oct 13 Reply Favorite Retweet
@noog
Cop: You were speeding. Me: Objection your honor. Cop: I'm not a judge. Me: Permission to approach the bench. Cop: What? Me: Sustained.
Sep 8 Reply Favorite Retweet
@noog
Yea, go ahead and destroy that spider’s web. It’s not like he spent a week making it so he can kill bugs that are in your house. Asshole.
Mar 29 Reply Favorite Retweet
@noog
Before you reply angrily at a tweet, just ask yourself if you'd yell at a retarded kid for screaming irrelevant shit into a megaphone.