@pattymo
Mr. Peanut is in Hell. He spent decades as the smiling face of a company that sold the boiled and roasted corpses of his people as a snack

@pattymo
If you're at a bar & see a security camera, make the Halpert Face at it. If the cops are ever reviewing the footage, it'll give em a laugh

@pattymo
A pelican just flew away with my sandwich. Rigged! The media!