@rainnwilson
Waitress: Any questions about the menu? Me: Is this font “Verdana?”

@rainnwilson
Places that work awesome without government: Somalia.

@rainnwilson
SITCOM IDEA: "Whitehouse Mates". Mitt and Obama TIE & have to share the Whitehouse & govern together. Also, one is gay.

@rainnwilson
If you visit a city, make sure you buy a T-shirt with that cities name on it so people know you went to that city.

@rainnwilson
I'm going to get a sleeve tattoo of a farmers tan.

@rainnwilson
They're only 1 letter apart, but the difference between grapejuice & rapejuice is significant.