@rejectedjokes
Anytime I fly over the exact spot a time zone changes, I yell "88 MILES PER HOUR!!!!"

@rejectedjokes
Jurassic Park- making you afraid of vibrating water since '93.

@rejectedjokes
Still don't understand why all car commercials show the car skidding out of control.

@rejectedjokes
Four years of training, all that hard work, just for the slight chance to be in a Subway sandwich commercial. #olympics

@rejectedjokes
YOLO doesn't work for cats.

@rejectedjokes
Before we find Waldo in this picture, can we talk about how over-populated this beach is?