Tweets by @shariv67 added on Fun Tweets.


Oct 12 2010 Retweet
@shariv67
You know how bullies stick a kid's head in the toilet & flush? We need to give Bieber credit for turning that into a look.
Sep 16 2010 Retweet
@shariv67
Looking at your innocent 5 year old now, I bet you can't imagine him drinking and taking drugs. Just you wait. First grade can be brutal.
Sep 9 2010 Retweet
@shariv67
I'm in a Japanese restaurant. I shit you not. They have a vegetable tempura appetizer called "Mushroom Cloud." I'm afraid to order it.
Aug 7 2010 Retweet
@shariv67
I joined a 12-step program for people addicted to 12 step programs, Anonymous Anonymous. The 1st step is admitting you don't have a problem.
Jul 26 2010 Retweet
@shariv67
It seems kid of arbitrary that people want their skin to be tan and their teeth to be white. In Opposite Land, I must be a fuckin' hottie.
Jul 18 2010 Retweet
@shariv67
Which is the worst career choice? Dentistry in Britain? Nutritionist in the Midwest? North Pole stripper during an antifreeze shortage?
Jun 23 2010 Retweet
@shariv67
Vampires, if I want to be jabbed with a body part, teeth are not my 1st choice. Also, I have plenty of holes. No need to make new ones.
Jun 19 2010 Retweet
@shariv67
We're sneaking a couple 40s into Toy Story 3. We'll be the ones howling in the back anytime someone says, "Woody."
Jun 14 2010 Retweet
@shariv67
I don't believe in anything I can't see, hear or touch, like calories. My thighs, however, are clearly very gullible.