@shelbyfero
Shout out to old guy behind counter who started coughing really hard, drank some water, recovered, chuckled, and said "Not today!"

@shelbyfero
American Apparel has really cornered the market on the modern, independent date rape victim.

@shelbyfero
Do you guys ever bite your tongue by accident? Do you guys ever hit a homeless man then just keep driving?

@shelbyfero
Oh cool this dress has pockets to keep my snacks in

@shelbyfero
you know how in movies the women always wake up with hair and makeup already done? I wake up like that but with a top hat&full tuxedo

@shelbyfero
It's like these people that have to shop at Goodwill don't even realize how lucky and trendy they are!