@sofifii
Don't get me wrong I'm impressed by the Olympics but what really impresses me is people who sleep with their cell phones in other rooms.

@sofifii
you don't need to thank everyone on facebook for your birthday messages, they were not sincere.

@sofifii
No one has 99 problems. That's so many problems.

@sofifii
Girls with long nails explain to me your life. Like, do you not touch things? Do you enjoy dirt?

@sofifii
I just pretended to be on my phone in the elevator and then my phone rang. I'm going to close up shop emotionally for the day

@sofifii
Who wants to join me in quest to warn teenagers about the harms of plucking your eyebrows too thin?

@sofifii
I could care less about you but I'm still going to go through your entire wedding & 1st born childs photo album on Facebook. I hate myself