@zarawesome
meetings should have a button you can secretly press and if everyone presses the button the meeting suddenly ends

@daynamcalpine_
went on a date with a guy years ago and told him i might have narcolepsy to which he look at me weirdly, changed the subject and he never called me back - years later he asked if i still fancied dead people and it turns out he thought i meant necrophilia

@fakeleny
has anyone tried making edibles but without weed? like virgin edibles or something

@PallaviGunalan
microdosing a relationship by getting into arguments with my male friends

@bennnnst
every time I go on my phone it is one of the worst experiences of my life

@almondtiddies
when the microwave does the passive aggressive double beep when you forget your food .. i just wanna know which bills you pay to be taking that tone with me