@JAjueny
Doesn’t make any fucking sense that Cinderella had a different shoe size from every other bitch in that town.
Doesn’t make any fucking sense that Cinderella had a different shoe size from every other bitch in that town.
@bitchrespecter
trying to flirt with a waitress and accidentally writing my phone number in the tip section of the receipt and charging 7 billion dollars to my debit card
trying to flirt with a waitress and accidentally writing my phone number in the tip section of the receipt and charging 7 billion dollars to my debit card
@TigNotaro
100% of the meals i make at home, i would send back if they were brought to me at a restaurant
100% of the meals i make at home, i would send back if they were brought to me at a restaurant
@IamJackBoot
How come in the movies when the bartender says, "what'll you have?" and the guy answers, "whisky," the bartender never says, "look behind me. There's 120 different bottles back there and they're all whisky. Let's start over. What'll you have?"
How come in the movies when the bartender says, "what'll you have?" and the guy answers, "whisky," the bartender never says, "look behind me. There's 120 different bottles back there and they're all whisky. Let's start over. What'll you have?"
@50FirstTates
sick of all these cute pet names like mittens or daisy. i’m getting a dog and naming it something cool like truckstop or concrete
sick of all these cute pet names like mittens or daisy. i’m getting a dog and naming it something cool like truckstop or concrete
@Oloni
I hate when ppl email back too quickly. i just ticked that off my todo list, now i gotta add this to the list again
I hate when ppl email back too quickly. i just ticked that off my todo list, now i gotta add this to the list again