Oct 21 2021 Retweet
went on a date with a guy years ago and told him i might have narcolepsy to which he look at me weirdly, changed the subject and he never called me back - years later he asked if i still fancied dead people and it turns out he thought i meant necrophilia
Oct 13 2021 Retweet
when the microwave does the passive aggressive double beep when you forget your food .. i just wanna know which bills you pay to be taking that tone with me