@GuyEndoreKaiser
"What is that, a banana? Aw, who gives a shit." -Disinterested George
"What is that, a banana? Aw, who gives a shit." -Disinterested George
@sammyrhodes
If I’m ever on Jeopardy I hope the final category isn’t “Can You Tell These Mumford & Sons Songs Apart.”
If I’m ever on Jeopardy I hope the final category isn’t “Can You Tell These Mumford & Sons Songs Apart.”
@gotmyhairdid
Stranger with a black eye is trying to talk to me. But I'm not going to respond cause it's pretty apparent she doesn't listen.
Stranger with a black eye is trying to talk to me. But I'm not going to respond cause it's pretty apparent she doesn't listen.
@BeerFarts101
I call my car 'The Forest Whitaker' because the left light barely works.
I call my car 'The Forest Whitaker' because the left light barely works.
@yaboybillnye
thought about a giraffe accidentally getting it's own long neck in a knot and i jus started cryin
thought about a giraffe accidentally getting it's own long neck in a knot and i jus started cryin
@buck4itt
A guy just yelled at me for tweeting and driving. I told him to get off my fucking hood and mind his own business.
A guy just yelled at me for tweeting and driving. I told him to get off my fucking hood and mind his own business.