@adamisacson
Ran out of laundry detergent, so I poured in some Windex. It worked OK, except for all the birds smacking into me.
Ran out of laundry detergent, so I poured in some Windex. It worked OK, except for all the birds smacking into me.
@KARIMI
Thank God I don't have to pay my computer's solitaire debts.
Thank God I don't have to pay my computer's solitaire debts.
@biorhythmist
Maybe it's the LSD talking but I am the walrus goo goo goo joob.
Maybe it's the LSD talking but I am the walrus goo goo goo joob.
@EWWWYUCKY
Astronauts are the only people who followed through on what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Astronauts are the only people who followed through on what they wanted to be when they grew up.
@juliussharpe
I screwed up self-checkout at the supermarket and had to ask myself if I could see a manager.
I screwed up self-checkout at the supermarket and had to ask myself if I could see a manager.
@plemur
They say that murder rates go down with more employment, so I bet if we gave everybody jobs murdering people, they'd be really bad at it.
They say that murder rates go down with more employment, so I bet if we gave everybody jobs murdering people, they'd be really bad at it.