Feb 9 Reply Favorite Retweet @badbanana My wax museum is going to start small by focusing on famous people who look like candles.
Dec 29 2015 Reply Favorite Retweet @MaraWilson My heart goes out to the teenage girls in California who, due to the drought, can no longer take "unusually long" baths like we did
Jul 13 Reply Favorite Retweet @PaulyPeligroso It really doesn't matter what the tattoo across your collar bone says. All I see is "My Dad Never Went To My Little League Games Sober."
Mar 15 2010 Retweet @WillyWonkaJr January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, Cucumber...
Apr 23 2010 Retweet @pauldanke I feel like the length of my twitter name is juuuuuust wedging me out of many MANY #FF tweets #delusional
Aug 28 2015 Reply Favorite Retweet @JohnFugelsang Dear Netflix; when I got my first dvd by mail all those years ago I never dreamed that one day you would raise a child for me.