@theJoeBiz
My phone just autocorrected "doofus" to "doodie"...and I thought *I* was immature.
My phone just autocorrected "doofus" to "doodie"...and I thought *I* was immature.
@sucittaM
I wish the mailman would come to my house at the same time as the garbage man so he could give my mail directly to him.
I wish the mailman would come to my house at the same time as the garbage man so he could give my mail directly to him.
@robdelaney
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's LUNAR ASSAULT and it's not funny.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's LUNAR ASSAULT and it's not funny.
@Nickadoo
I still have no idea what the fuck Grape Nuts are supposed to be.
I still have no idea what the fuck Grape Nuts are supposed to be.
@9to5Life
I killed someone with kindness today. Blood EVERYWHERE.
I killed someone with kindness today. Blood EVERYWHERE.
@annadrezen
If you’re gonna do a bouquet toss at your wedding, at least have the class to scream “Grasp at my crumbs, ye dogs!!!”
If you’re gonna do a bouquet toss at your wedding, at least have the class to scream “Grasp at my crumbs, ye dogs!!!”