Feb 18 2011 Reply Favorite Retweet @GuyEndoreKaiser "What is that, a banana? Aw, who gives a shit." -Disinterested George
Jan 17 2013 Reply Favorite Retweet @sammyrhodes If I’m ever on Jeopardy I hope the final category isn’t “Can You Tell These Mumford & Sons Songs Apart.”
Jul 30 2011 Reply Favorite Retweet @gotmyhairdid Stranger with a black eye is trying to talk to me. But I'm not going to respond cause it's pretty apparent she doesn't listen.
Nov 1 Reply Favorite Retweet @BeerFarts101 I call my car 'The Forest Whitaker' because the left light barely works.
Dec 21 2014 Reply Favorite Retweet @yaboybillnye thought about a giraffe accidentally getting it's own long neck in a knot and i jus started cryin
Mar 5 Reply Favorite Retweet @buck4itt A guy just yelled at me for tweeting and driving. I told him to get off my fucking hood and mind his own business.