@boring_as_heck
ya i'll have a 6 inch subway club on parmesan oregano "sir this is the DMV" uh ya toasted "sir" cheddar "sir, you-" do u have sun chips

@SlappNuttz
I just freaked out! I woke up from a nap to find that my phone and wife were missing. It's all good though. I found my phone.

@HeyitsLori
My teeth are so white I could use them to help land a plane and still no boyfriend. I'm beginning to think TV ads lie.

@IGotsSmarts
According to WebMC, I be illin'.

@blondediva11
Poor Richard Simmons. He got tangled in his work-out mat, and now he's a fruit roll-up.

@Fred_Delicious
*a spider slowly rolls past my house on a tiny skateboard* "kids, go to the bomb shelter. it seems my past has finally caught up with me"