@ch000ch
one of those 60 second cooking videos but for how to cover up an accidental manslaughter

@DirtMcTurd
I had a rib removed so I could cry further into my lap

@teenpuke
whenever white girls are fighting and one of them calls the other "hun" during the argument world war 3 begins

@pjmonoblog
How come squirrels get a pass to bury whatever they want in the park but the cops go crazy when I try to bury one tiny bloody knife?

@MikeRoyce
I love everything about writing except the part where you want to kill yourself, which is all of it.

@bazecraze
Your first follower has given you away, parody account.