@BoomBoomBetty
Sometimes I just can’t believe I am an adult with normal things like a mortgage, a job, and an overwhelming desire to drive off a cliff.

@GaryJanetti
Don't send an email if you're angry. Wait a while. Have a couple of drinks. Get yourself really worked up. And then send it.

@DannyZuker
1st day of middle school & my son REALLY didn't want to get picked on but he's dressed like a dorkwad & I couldn't help myself.

@DaveWeasel
Password reminder: The hero in second grade who farted instead of saying 'here' during attendance.

@BoobsRadley
Why don't you tell us what's really wrong, loud sneezers?

@sammyrhodes
Wearing transition lenses is a great way to block out the sun & anyone from wanting to be friends with you.