@BuckyIsotope
The Karate Kid grew up to be The Karate Man and now he's the Pizza Hut delivery guy with a ponytail who tries to talk to you about swords.
@BuckyIsotope
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says “why the long face?” The horse sues him for discrimination and wins $4.3 million and the bar.
@BuckyIsotope
ATTENTION TARGET SHOPPERS THERE IS A VAN PARKED OUTSIDE WITH A FLAMING UNICORN PAINTED ON IT WOULD THE OWNER PLEASE COME UP FRONT FOR A HI 5
@BuckyIsotope
A sad time in a dad's life is when your son finally dunks on you so you have to cut his hamstring while he sleeps so he can't do it again
@BuckyIsotope
*cop pulls me over* "Sir do you-" You a cop? You have to tell me if you're a cop "What?" You seem cool. Wanna buy some weed? *pause* "Yes"
@BuckyIsotope
*Pillsbury Doughboy approaches mic* I would like to apologize for my recent actions, but would remind you I never claimed to be a roll model
@BuckyIsotope
The .01% of germs that remain alive in your mouth after mouthwash are the Liam Neeson guys who are really pissed and looking for revenge.
@BuckyIsotope
Remember the Scooby Doo episode where they put Scooby down and gave Shaggy the death penalty for ripping the face off an innocent person?
@BuckyIsotope
We’ve replaced Steve’s regular coffee with a detailed understanding of the impending heat death of the universe. Let’s see if he notices.
@BuckyIsotope
Just made a deal with the devil. I got a PS2, half a box of white wine and an autographed photo of George Bush in exchange for my Kia Soul.
@BuckyIsotope
I’m abandoning Obamacare for Bidencare. Everyone gets a sixer of Natty Light, 2 copies of Hustler from 1978 and a VHS copy of Caddyshack.
@BuckyIsotope
There’s a highway to hell. There’s only a stairway to heaven. So a car ride downhill or an arduous climb up. Anyway, welcome to the baptism.
@BuckyIsotope
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? You're hot but you make me really uncomfortable, sometimes my underwear gets sticky and I get burned
@BuckyIsotope
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if you crushed his spirit by telling him how worthless he was and deprived him of a good education?