@DieLaughing
I can't wait to start blaming the GOP for everything wrong in America not being magically fixed upon their election to office.

@DieLaughing
Sometimes during sex I accidentally say "I love you too, brown paper bag smiley face."

@DieLaughing
If you hold a SUV up to your ear, you can almost hear the sound of the ocean screaming.

@DieLaughing
To make sure everyone cries at my funeral, I'm requesting they play nothing but Creed and Nickleback through factory car speakers.

@DieLaughing
Now the Supreme Court has ruled that corporations are legally a person with rights, there are a lot of rape charges I'm filing against them.