Tweets by @Schmoodles added on Fun Tweets.


Apr 23 2013 Retweet
@Schmoodles
Give a man a fish & he'll probably stick his dick in it. Teach a man to fish & he'll just keep fucking the fish you gave him. Men are weird.
Mar 15 2013 Retweet
@Schmoodles
I can never remember if it's "laying" or "lying." Anyway, I hit a dude with my car and he's doing one of them in the middle of the road. :(
Jan 15 2013 Retweet
@Schmoodles
You only live once, so don't forget to spend 16 hours every day on the internet, desperately searching for the validation of strangers.
Jan 10 2013 Retweet
@Schmoodles
A cactus as a houseplant is a good way to let people know that you've killed every other living thing that you've ever been responsible for.