@XplodingUnicorn
My 4-year-old calls our microwave "the pizza heater," and there's nothing to correct because she's right.
My 4-year-old calls our microwave "the pizza heater," and there's nothing to correct because she's right.
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@XplodingUnicorn
My 6-year-old called ranch dressing "salad frosting" and now I'll never call it anything else.
My 6-year-old called ranch dressing "salad frosting" and now I'll never call it anything else.
@XplodingUnicorn
Diet status: I spilled powdered sugar on an important document and licked it off.
Diet status: I spilled powdered sugar on an important document and licked it off.
@XplodingUnicorn
My 3-year-old told me Santa gets presents from space and gives them to you if you pay him money. All hail capitalist space Santa.
My 3-year-old told me Santa gets presents from space and gives them to you if you pay him money. All hail capitalist space Santa.
@XplodingUnicorn
I'm so out of it I just asked my dog to hand me something. To be fair, he gave me the same blank stare my kids would have.
I'm so out of it I just asked my dog to hand me something. To be fair, he gave me the same blank stare my kids would have.
@XplodingUnicorn
The scariest moment in any man's life is when his wife stops talking and it's his turn to say something in a conversation he's been ignoring
The scariest moment in any man's life is when his wife stops talking and it's his turn to say something in a conversation he's been ignoring