@gracehelbig
Just walked FACE FIRST into a spider's web on my porch. Shoutout to my neighbors who now think I love showing off my frantic break dancing.

@gracehelbig
Just ordered Chinese food from a place called Magic Wok. In the 'additional notes' I said "pls make the sadness disappear." LAUGH OUT LOUD

@gracehelbig
I'm staying at a hotel w/ a 'hotel dog' that guests can walk & pet. Which is 1. adorable and 2. proof that the gov't can access my dreams.

@gracehelbig
I wish Shaq named his daughter Shaqira.

@gracehelbig
Take a selfie it'll last long-wait delete that one my eyebrows look fat take another.

@gracehelbig
Is there a stripper named "Eggs Over Easy" yet?