@joeschmitt
I know HuffPo is down because of Hurricane Sandy, but I like to think it collapsed under the weight of its own self-importance.

@joeschmitt
Open your eyes, people! The Three Little Pigs was written by bricklayers.

@joeschmitt
Twitter has lost 90% of my tweets. Great! Now I've got nothing to show for the last two years. Nothing.

@joeschmitt
George W. Bush isn't writing a memoir, but "an account of key decisions", such as 9/11, Iraq, and "all the other things Cheney made me do."

@joeschmitt
Just give me a sec. I'm still waiting for IE8 to open a new tab. A blank tab. Waiting... Still waiting... There it is.

@joeschmitt
I am motherfucking sick of the motherfucking delays on this motherfucking train!